Age Appreciation: The Male POV
In praise of the confident-in-her-own-skin woman
Women are great at any age. There’s no question about that. In her 20s, she’s fresh out of college, buzzing about life and energized about her future career. In her 30s, she’s fallen in love a few times, and maybe found her soul mate and is starting a family.
And when she’s in her mid to late 40s, and beyond, she’s hit her full stride, moving through life in total command of her body, mind and soul. Her career is going at full throttle. Kids? They are either out the door or soon on their way.
But what makes her so amazing? And why should we be singing her praises each and every day?
Let me count the ways:
Elizabeth Hurley. Sharon Stone. Nigella Lawson. Vanessa Williams. Michelle Pfeiffer. Heidi Klum.
Helen Mirren. No, seriously, what is it about this woman that drives the camera crazy? She’s 71. I’ll tell you what it is, plain and simple. She’s smart as a whip, while still sporting an inner saucy exuberance that just grabs you.
Yeah, yeah, you say. But these are all celebrities. What about the Confident-in-her-own-skin woman amongst us? They are, frankly, everywhere. If you have any doubt, whatsoever, than take thee, any day, any time, to any SoulCycle, Pilates, yoga class, or how about a CrossFit box? There, you will meet, more often than not, one of these Confidents who are not only leading the pack (tapping it back, chaturanga-ing, and bench pressing their own weight), but who are often leading the class itself.
I know about this, first hand. I’ve dated ‘em. Take Nikki P. of New York City. She’s 54 and she works out—every single day. She looks half her age. And don’t take my word for it. Ask the bouncers who card her at bars. Or ask her daughter who steals her mom’s bikinis because they’re sexier than her own.
A Gallup survey found that women in their 50s are happier than her 20s, 30s, 40s sisters. Maybe it’s because she’s done the inner work to find her inner self. Maybe it’s because she is accomplished and proud of herself in her career and family. But maybe the real reason is that she doesn’t need anything. She is perfectly content with herself. She loves being in her own skin. She’s fully independent. She doesn’t need a guy, unless she wants him. She’s firmly anchored in her spirituality, which could be through her meditation, yoga, chanting or church. She’s surrounded by amazing friends who’ve been there for her, and she for them, for decades. Happy shows in her face, each and every day, through her beaming eyes and bright smile.
She gets things done.
Who gets it done when it comes to the day-to-day? She does. She always has, and she always will. She was way ahead on the school playground when she gave her first kiss and we didn’t know what the hell was happening, and she sure as hell is light years ahead of us now in her fourth, fifth, sixth and seventh decades of life. She gets things done, and you don’t have to worry about it. Why? Because she thought of it before we ever did, or even could.
She knows what she wants.
When was the last time you ever heard a Confident-in-her--own-skin woman say she didn’t know what she wanted? I would venture to say, uh, pretty much never. She will tell you, clearer than a mountain stream in a John Denver song, what she wants, how she’s going to get it, where it’s going to come from, and why it’s so important. The end.
She’s at the height of her sensuality. Gail Sheehy, in her book Sex and the Seasoned Woman wrote the following: “The middle years, between 50 and 65, constitute the apex of adult life... for women, the passage to be made is from pleasing to mastery.”
She’s also much more likely to wear lingerie, which she likely wears daily, because she loves it. But here’s the real insight on this - she’s doing it for herself, because it gives her inner strength and confidence, according to Ali Cudby, a lingerie industry expert and CEO of Fab Foundations in Washington, D.C., who claims “Lingerie is the superhero costume underneath her clothes.”
Her inner sensual power, then, reveals itself outwardly as a translucence, yes, an aura, that envelopes her everywhere she goes - from the grocery store to a board meeting to the theater to the beach.
Praise to you, Confident-in-her-own-skin woman. We are forever blessed by your presence, and can’t wait to be with you, as soon as possible.